When the Sheriff’s Called to Babysit

Some more catch-up on columns missed to celebrate the new year!

There are days when you bound out of bed ready to fight the world.

And then there are the days you realize you’re the parent of a 4-year-old.

You can fight, but winning isn’t easy.

And sometimes you need help.

In fact, sometimes the help of five grown men is the best – men willing to act like total goofballs so your 4-year-old will acquiesce to the adults’ wishes and you can get the show on the road.

That was the scene last Friday morning in Monticello, when I had the county’s sheriff and undersheriff, along with two members of their department and a representative of the county’s Friends of the NRA all working in concert with me to fight the 4-year-old.

The good news? We won.

The bad news? She knew she had us wrapped.

Because the shooting demonstration designed as part of a press conference was set to start, and my pint-sized helper didn’t want to put a pair of simple headphones on to protect her ears.

Which wouldn’t have been a problem if it weren’t for said group of adults all waiting for shooting to commence . . . and one 4-year-old holding up the works.

I pleaded.

I cajoled.

I bribed.

And finally, the sight of a six adults bowing to her every wish did the trick. She put them on, and we very literally shot things off.

So we fought the good fight and won . . . sort of.

Ever heard a parent in the grocery store telling their child “you’re lucky you’re cute?”

I’ll go dimes to donuts in a bet that what happened to precede that comment bore striking resemblance to Friday morning in Monticello. Where your child is the one holding it all up, and you’re thanking your own lucky stars that people still think your child is cute enough to just let it slide.

Or at least to join you in your fight against the dark pre-school side.

Because there’s nothing in this world quite as embarrassing as admitting – I fought the toddler and the toddler won.

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