Snowmageddon Ain’t Nothing But A Snowstorm


I couldn’t tell if the newscasters were having too much fun with superlatives or simply lost their edge.

“It’s a snowpocalypse,” they were warning on Friday.

“Snowmageddon slams mid-Atlantic,” they said Sunday.

Here’s a news flash for you – it’s February. It snows. Yes, even in the mid-Atlantic states.

And here’s the kicker for all those “global warming my foot” folks out there: the scientists at the University of Alabama at Huntsville have determined this January was the warmest in their 32-year record keeping history.

Not the warmest in Alabama, the warmest “global-average lower tropospheric temperature.”

Apparently Phil forgot to check in with the folks in Alabama before he began his prognosticating, but the numbers stand. This winter’s no worse than the rest, folks.

And for all the bombastic broadcasters out there – it’s not the end of the world.

It’s no fun, I can admit. When they say snow, I say it’s time to go back to bed, preferably with a warm body beside me to cuddle close with (4-year-olds have marketable qualities as portable heaters).

Staying off the roads where possible is mere common sense, and good for my pocketbook.

But the feverish trips to the supermarket to stock up on all the necessities man can make seems particularly silly after the forecasted Armageddon results in one day inside your house to be followed by a few hours of shoveling and then, well, nothing out of the ordinary.

Even two days of snow will have the potential to keep you in your house for a whopping two days. And if you’re like the millions of Americans who generally food shop on a weekly basis rather than daily, those two days will be spent like any other two days in your life – eating the food already stocked in your cupboards, making use of the facilities with the toilet paper piled up in the cabinet where it always sits.

We have yet to have those winters where you’re holed up in your log cabin with no running water and no Pop Tarts for weeks on end.

And if the warmest January on record isn’t a sign that we’re not likely to go without anytime soon, try Amazon Prime on for size. You’ll never go without your economy pack of TP again.

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Comments

  1. This is funny. We got about 8 inches here, a big storm, yes, but not unusual for MI. The morning before the storm, the news was reporting on HOW they would report the news during the snow storm. Yes, really. And then they added 1/2 hour to their nightly news cast.It's like it was snowing at the equator or something.

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