Did you hear the one about the Mom who was ready for Christmas two weeks before the big day? Probably not. This ubermom is as rare a sighting as the Abominable Snowman from the Rankin and Bass classic.
They exist only in fairy tales, but her siren song plays loudly in every small shop and major mall in the country. You hear “Deck the Halls;” we hear “what kind of Mom doesn’t have her tree up yet?” You hear “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus;” we hear “if you don’t buy those presents, you’ll have a miserable tot on your hands come Christmas.” Yes, we Moms are a little neurotic. But we have good reason.
I’ve tried to ignore the pressures this year; I really have. We did our photo shoot early to take advantage of those “before Thanksgiving” holiday card deals. We bought the gingerbread house kit so I wouldn’t have to spend my time in a kitchen baking and cutting dough. We cut the list.
I was ready. I was SuperMom in a grey peacoat and a cashmere scarf instead of the cape. Hey, it’s upstate New York, a true superhero improvises to meet the conditions. Besides, no one wants to see a woman who has given birth in those tights. Just saying.
But then the wheels came off the Batmobile. In came the complications, galloping in like Santa’s reindeer headed for a hard landing on a slate roof.
The cards were filled out, but took two weeks to hit the post office because the Mommy brain simply forgot to grab them for her daily – and I do mean daily – postal pick up.
The gingerbread kit created a giant – but tasty – mess when the roof slid off one side, the candies sitting just about where the little gingerbread man’s bathroom should have been.
And then Jillian wrote up her “official Santa list” with such requests as “a My Little Pony car with two doors that open.” Give her credit for knowing what she likes; her current My Little Pony car has just one working door. It’s a major design flaw. Unfortunately, it’s also the only car the folks at Hasbro have on the shelves. Not even Santa can get that one fixed. And that was the easy part of the list.
It’s had all the makings of a collosal Christmas disaster.
Fortunately, this is a story you’ve heard before. Because you know what they say about the mother of invention?
I’m not ubermom. But SuperMom has a few tricks hidden in her peacoat. When in doubt, ask for help.
The mysterious book about lemonade and a Pink girl on Jillian’s Santa list? Thanks to Audra Everett at the Jeffersonville branch of the Western Sullivan Public Library, we have one mystery solved.
The envelopes that needed to be licked, and the cards that needed to be mailed? Thanks go to Jonathan Sager for successfully finishing the project.
And the gingerbread house that’s a mess on the counter? Never underestimate the power of Jillian and her babysitter to find beauty in the disasters.
The tree is up. The stockings are hung. The cookie baking playdate with Jillian’s best buddy is set. We’re not ready for Christmas, but we’re not giving up the ghost yet.
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