I told everyone that Easter was the one day of the year that I would eat candy for breakfast. I may have stretched the truth a wee bit. Because a week of early morning Cadbury egg eating is in store, and by rights it’s candy. Delicious, chocolatey candy with a yummy creme filled center. I could be added to their marketing team with the way I’ll wax on about the nougaty insides alone.
But it’s the very fact that they cast all that junk, erm, delectability in an egg shape that keeps me on the straight and narrow. What did you have for breakfast this morning, you might ask. To which I can answer a very truthful, “eggs.
You see, it’s the perfect Easter candy. It’s pure evil masked by a name that evokes the sense that one is stuffing themselves with hearty goodness.
Bacon aficionados understand this analogy. As the bacon craze has taken the country by storm (we have at our fingertips options like bacon Band-Aids and bacon vodka these days), the fat-laden strips of cholesterol have been passed off as a part of a wholesome breakfast. And rather than investigate further, the bacon-crazed take it at face value because fat and cholesterol taste so darn good.
So it is with the Cadbury egg.
If I were forced to read the side of the box, I would surely begin shaking immediately. You may confuse it for a cringe, but in fact it would be an attempt to counteract any and all calories with constant movement.
But again the folks at Cadbury reveal their distinct genius. They send out little foil covered eggs BY THEMSELVES to land in children’s Easter baskets with nary a calorie count in sight to steal away the pure thrill of Easter week, er, morning.
So go on. Eat your fill of jellybeans this week. Gobble down gummies, and load up on bunny-shaped lollipops.
I have a solid breakfasting schedule of eggs to come. It’s Easter week, after all.
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