Because Growing Up Doesn’t Have to Taste It

Quick, tell me which of these reasons for having my kid are true: Because my husband wanted one. Because I wanted one. Because they brought all the ’80s toys back, and I needed a good excuse to buy them. Because I would still rather run something that tastes like bubblegum over my teeth in the morning, but that’s not appropriate when you’re approaching 30?

OF COURSE it’s the first two. Uh huh. You keep thinking that.

And while you’re at it, confession time. I AM approaching 30, and I still think that mint stuff tastes like . . . a word my 5 1/2-year-old is supposed to pretend she doesn’t hear out of my mouth. So I’m not dumb enough to go through 13 hours of labor on pitocin for the world’s worst reason (what, do I look like Katie Holmes?), but I’ve been known to sneak a dab of something marked “junior” onto my brush in the morning.

But those days are done ladies and gents. Hello swag. I have missed you my good friend. In the time that my blog has been semi-dormant, I’ve missed out on fabulous inventions like this new one sent my way by Colgate (yes, folks, that’s what they call disclosure . . . I got schtuff fo’ freeeeeeeeeee). Wisps, you know those itty bitty on-the-go toothpastes that I have by the dozens (no kidding, I’ve spent real money on these things because I’m manic about bad breath) has added an Icy Bubble flavor.

Can we get an OMG? OK, overused. But how else do flip the lights fantastic online about how this little doodad has changed my life? I don’t have to hide it anymore! I can indulge in the kid stuff in an adult package! Huzzah. They aren’t extremely bubblicious (sigh), but what they lack in super bubblegum flavor is made up for by a freshness from the “icy” mint side without the minty taste that makes me gag.

Oh yeah, and the kid likes it too — which is awesome because as I once mentioned over at The Stir (that would be the day job), these babies are a LIFESAVER for the morning routine. When the kid isn’t cooperating . . . which happens ONLY on odd Tuesdays and even Fridays, natch . . . they’re my little guarantee that she’ll still have clean teeth by the time she gets to school, even if we’re running late.

So spill it . . . what’s your “childhood” only craving that’s followed into adulthood?

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