Spring: The Hard Truth

Column from a few weeks ago . . .

Kids across America came running home from school last month hopping from foot to foot, barely able to contain their excitement. Spring! It’s here! The calendar says so!

And in places like Maryland and California, the calendar is right. But we don’t live in Maryland or California.
We live in a place where a good parent is the one who knows it’s just tempting fate to put the winter wear away before June. And by away we mean the front hall closet, where it can be pulled out at a moment’s notice.

And so last month, parents in Sullivan County sat our kids down for that difficult talk I like to call “sugarcoating the truth just enough that you don’t destroy that smile.”

Spring is here. It’s just a word we use loosely.

See, the key is to be careful how you speak of the calendar. You never know when you’re going to need it to pull off the wall and prove to your child that yes, it really is Sunday, and yes, there really are 49 days left until their birthday (so it’s OK that we have neither purchased a pinata nor made a cake).

Besides, the calendar can’t defend itself from a parent throwing it right under the bus for misleading their kid. It almost feels wrong to blame someone else. Almost . . .

But sometimes, you just have to go with what you got. Call it old-fashioned American ingenuity. Call it the best option. Call it what it is: absolute parental desperation. Because the calendar is a poor defenseless piece of paper that isn’t going to be fielding the call from the school nurse that “Your daughter turned blue on the playground because you sent her in a sundress and rainboots, and it’s 30 degrees out there.”

It’s spring, alright. The Yankees are playing in the Bronx. The Easter Bunny is coming. And the calendar says so.

But until further notice, please be advised not to break the news to my kid. Unless you prefer blue noses?

Comments

  1. Favorite line: Because the calendar is a poor defenseless piece of paper that isn't going to be fielding the call from the school nurse that "Your daughter turned blue on the playground because you sent her in a sundress and rainboots, and it's 30 degrees out there." HAHA! :Dxoxo

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