On Father’s Day, I’m Glad My Husband’s ‘Gay’

It’s a joke in our ultra-liberal household that my husband is gay. I shop at Border’s. He shops at Bloomie’s. He has more “product” in our bathroom than my daughter and myself combined.

You get the point. We jest. We live in a nation that is uncomfortable with a man who is comfortable with looking good, smelling good, and liking girls all at once.

But joke or not, it’s on Father’s Day that I’m most grateful that the father of my daughter is a man who isn’t afraid to indulge in his inner princess, that he’s COMFORTABLE with this joking, for his little princess. He’s a man who has been known to sport a pink fingernail or two for the sake of experimentation, a man who has taken her declaration that she will be a fashion model when she grows up to mean “let her wear what she wants each day, because she needs to figure out what works for her.”

Parenting is a task that’s not for the faint of heart, but when the doctor announces “It’s a girl,” or as my OB quipped “well, that’s one less circumcision I have to do!” (well, I did deliver in the Borscht Belt), there’s a part of you that prepares for the incessant demands that you provide your husband with his boy. Because we may not live in China, may not have an actual policy, but it’s there, just under the surface, a preference for boys anyway, an expectation that a man must have a son to succeed him, a boy to “play” with.

I am sad for the girls whose dads ignore them, taking the “boy” out fishing and hunting, or if they’re not the outdoorsy type, to play pirates, to jump on the video game console. But a dad who wears pink to work has no qualms about coming home to throw on a tutu, to pick out a polish, to be a real dad.

He’s a dad who will accept her for who she is. Gay or straight. Doctor or barista. Skinny or chunky. He sees her. He wants her. He values her.

I’d rather have a “gay” dad for my daughter than one who just doesn’t think she’s good enough. He makes a Father’s Day worth celebrating.

What makes this Father’s Day worth celebrating?

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Comments

  1. Like. No, love.

  2. Oh, I love this!

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