Forget the Study: SpongeBob Is Not that Big a Deal People

I’ll say this for writing on the Internet: it gives you a look at what people really think about life like nothing else. In a world where people can be completely anonymous, they have no problem telling you exactly how they fell . . . and how.

I just never thought it would be SpongeBob that got them going. Really, folks? SpongeBob? He lives in a pineapple under the sea. He wear a tie. . . and has no neck. HE’S NOT REAL!

And when I dared say that I wouldn’t let a 4-year-old watch him — in response to a study that cast him as the devil because he made toddler a wee bit frantic — the claws came out.

And I do mean OUT.

Granted, the name “I Don’t Need Science to Tell Me SpongeBob is Bad” was a bit . . . controversial? I write for a site named The Stir, what else do you want?

But when National Public Radio’s The Takeaway contacted me to chat about why my kid doesn’t watch what’s seemingly everyone’s favorite Nickelodeon show, I had to admit I just don’t get it. It’s a show about a weird yellow square wearing pants. My grandmother used to call him SquareBob SpongePants because she could never quite get a grip on exactly what my young cousin was into. He’s just not that important people!

I guess people though I was picking on their parenting. Again, it’s part of the job. But in this case, I wasn’t. No, really. I was saying that he doesn’t work in my house because I have a kid who picks up the obnoxious on TV and carries it into the every day.

Having met SpongeBob himself, Tom Kenny, I confess I reserve some guilt at my SpongeBob loathing, but I can’t help it. He’s annoying. And rude. The name calling irritates me, along with that tone of voice, the likes of which I never want to hear from my child.

But to each his own, folks. Really. Swearsies. He’s just a sponge. That lives in the ocean. And sells you products. He’s your problem. Not mine.

Is SpongeBob something that gets you riled?

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