So I’m Fat: What’s Your Excuse?

It’s that time of year again, folks. The Christmas tree has shed enough needles that it hardly matters what size it was coming into the house; it’s going out as a Charlie Brown variety. You, on the other hand, have grown like the Grinch’s heart over the holiday.

Pleasantly plump going into the holidays, gargantuan going out; that’s my motto.

Stinking cookies.

And chocolates.

And cakes.

And pies.

And have you had a piece of the Hanukkah kugel? It’s to die for.

I’d ask why we do this to ourselves year after year, but it’s a no-brainer, isn’t it? There’s nothing more American than opening one’s mouth and filling it with something so sugary and delicious we just have to go back for seconds.

And here is where I could get all political, climb on my soapbox and rant about the third world countries and gluttony and obesity and, well, yeah, that’s not the holiday spirit, is it? You threw some change in the Salvation Army bin and some toys in the Toys for Tots box. Enough already.

I’d much prefer to talk the traditions of other countries. You know it’s rude not to eat what’s offered in many spots around the world, don’t you?

Yup, that’s as good an excuse as any. And isn’t it a compliment to the chef (or at-home baker) if you don’t sample it all? Right, we’ll put that one on the list.

Have you come up with YOUR excuse yet?


  1. I eat, enjoy, and donate to the less fortunate. It gets me through the day.

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