Get Your Kid Off Pinterest . . . NOW!

OK, so I’ve been sucked into the vortex that is Pinterest. Go ahead. Judge me. I won’t share the spanakopita recipe I found that makes the best cheesy spinachy goodness you will ever taste. So there.

Yes, Pinterest is making my ass grow.

But that’s not my problem. The real problem? The kids on Pinterest.

I caught this snippet over on Gawker the other day (hat tip to the ever awesome STFU, Parents for that one) about parents going absolutely apoplectic over the picture above (which I don’t own — so if it’s yours, let me know, I’ll take it down . . . but it seems like it’s fair use . . . so anyways). See that “f” bomb? Yeah. So parents and grandparents alike were clanging their God damn pearls because, OMG, think of the children!

Honey child, I did think of the children. In fact, I think so much of my particular 6-year-old that . . . get this . . . she is not allowed on social media. Not in a house, not with a mouse . . . or a track pad.

This is why people hate us, fellow procreators! Because we think our kids should be allowed everywhere. And common sense says they’re not.

This is what we know about Pinterest: it’s a site that is driven by images. People “pin” pictures to their virtual pinboards, and everyone gets to look at them. And you know what happens when everyone can put pictures on a place where everyone can see them?

Gee, let’s think a moment shall we? Oh wait, right! People will probably put some picture that offends your precious sensibilities. And if you’re an adult, that’s OK. Because you have developed the motor skills to move your little hand over to that track pad, do a little slide of the forefinger, and change the page.

Kids, on the other hand, well, it’s just too darn late, isn’t it? They’ve seen the “f” bomb, and they want to use it. And they WILL. In the grocery store. Next to that really judgy old bat who likes to sniff loudly when your child dares speak in a volume above catatonic in her presence.

This, my friends, is why I don’t friend kids on Facebook. This is why I have no problem that cranky people unfriend me after I let loose a tirade against certain very rude people on Facebook that may or may not contain the “f” bomb because they were dumb enough to let a little kid onto their Facebook wall (didn’t I mention I do NOT friend kids?).

Now, do me a favor, would you? Leave me and my Pinterest in peace. I hear there’s a recipe for Rolo-stuffed chocolate chip cookies on there.

Are you a Pinterest nut? Come follow me over there at: Itsgonnabe

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