I Took My Kid to Jack Daniel’s (Or I Hope They Serve Whiskey in Mom Hell)

Jack (Daniel) and Jill

Yes. I know. I made a Tucker Max reference when I think he’s a misogynistic toolbag. But then, I did take my daughter to the Jack Daniel’s distillery this month, so in certain circles I’m already a crap person.

A disclaimer right off the bat: they don’t serve alcohol during regular tours (it’s a dry county, for one), and even if they did, I wouldn’t have let my 6-year-old get a taste. I’m not crazy. I just enjoy a little bit of fun on my vacations.

And can we talk about the joyous occasion when a parent actually has a wee bit of fun on vacation? I vaguely remember when we chose a destination based on something other than its proximity to a zoo or amusement park. A jolly and gay time was had by all in those days. And yes, there may have been alcohol. Alcohol enjoyed by responsible adults who were … ahem … on vacation!

It made sense to make a stop-off in Lynchburg as we wound our way back north after a trip to the grandparents’ house in Georgia. She’d had her fun in the sun (we went to Zoo Atlanta! She saw pandas! Her grandparents spoiled the ever living crap out of her), and we could get in a little bit of our own too. 

But this being America, land of the sanctimommies, I have to admit I didn’t really let loose a full breath until another parent wandered in with kids in tow. Turns out her younger kid and mine are only a few weeks apart. And yeah, I said younger. Meaning she had TWO kids there. Now who’s the shittastic parent? (Kidding, kidding).

I was worried about the whole taking the kid on a tour of a distillery tour thing for a few seconds there. And I hated myself for letting these parents get to me.

Yes, America, it is OK to do things with your kids that is not 100 percent about them! Yes, America, kids can be around alcohol in responsible settings and not turn into raging alcoholics! Yes, America, I’m admitting this all to the interwebs!

When is the last time you did something on vacation that wasn’t designed to keep your  kid happy?

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