Junk Mail Now Starts at 6 (Years Old)

My daughter got a letter marked “personal” today. It was a blue envelope, marked with a non-profit’s seal on the upper left hand corner of the envelope.

Did I mention she is 6?

Her first junk mail. At 6. A momentous moment.

I’m not sure whether I should shred it or put it in the baby book.

I jest.

Sort of.

Ok, seriously, why in the holy hell is my 6-year-old getting “personal” mail? Even if it is from a nonprofit. I know there are wonderful nonprofits. I also know the gay-hating morons at Focus on the Family managed to convince the IRS that they deserve a 501c3 designation. The word doesn’t exactly sway me, capiche?

There is plenty of time for her to roll her eyes and chuck that stuff in the recycling bin right at the post office (did I mention we have a post office box because the world hasn’t figured out that we rural folk do exist yet?). Right now, I’d prefer she not think about whether or not the funds in her piggy bank should go to “that” charity that’s wasted its money on mailings and focus on important stuff.

You know. Stuff like whether Swampy the Alligator (for those of you not taking notes, he’s from Where’s My Water) is cooler than the Angry Birds. And whether that Disney movie Brave will kick some serious ass (I swear no one paid me to say that, but I’m betting it will).

What in the actual F-you-know-what are they doing junk mailing 6-year-olds?

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Comments

  1. Ugh!! That's insane!! I wonder how long it will take her to get a credit card offer…

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