Those Keebler Elves Won’t Deny Me Again

You don’t see a lot of people extolling the virtues of the good stuff. You see plenty of the kvetching when it’s gone. But the good stuff? We take it for granted, and then, poof, some bean counter decides the cost of toffee goodness is too high, and they whip it away from us.

It’s the crap that no one really talks about that will be there forever. Like Diet Pepsi Lime. Seriously, people, stop buying it for your party on the off chance that someone will drink it. You’re just going to end up pouring it down the drain, and the folks at Pepsi won’t know it. They’ll think you actually drank that disaster.

And now you understand why I need to do this, why I need to write an entire odd to the good that is the Toffee Sandies.

I’ll confess to look rather … Gollem-like when I snuck in, snatched the package off the shelf and beat a retreat back to my cart (hear that? it’s a cart, not a wagon, not a buggy!). If I’d been thinking about it, a loving brush of my fingertips and a “my precious” would have been appropriate.

The stockboy looked at me like the mom with kid and the cart full of yogurts and organic cherry tomatoes had sprouted wings or some she-beast off my shoulders. Thus was the speed and passion behind my attack on the cookies.

They are back.

The one store-bought cookie that got away.

Keebler’s Toffee Sandies are not my many-flavors of chips chocolate chip cookies. They are not the sugar cookies that make my husband cross the dark divide from salty to sweet.

They are so much more.

Well, they used to be. To be honest, the “new” Toffee Sandies that are really proof that someone at Keebler came to their senses and decided to do something good for humanity and bring back my favorite damn cookie aren’t quite as good as the old thing. I seem to remember solid chunks of toffee. These are more like toffee remnants, the cooked down bits of tawny-colored sweetness stretched throughout the shortbread.

But I’ll take it.

And I’ll crow about it.

You know why? I had a good thing once, and it was gone.

They won’t take it away from me again. So sing it (in the comments please): what’s your favorite food that they have stolen away from you? 

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Disclaimer: I didn’t get anything from Keebler to write this blog. In fact, the only thing I ever got for free from them was a void in my stomach where the Toffee Sandies should have been. A very large void. 


  1. You are a kindred spirit to be sure. Recently I was looking longingly at Pecan Sandies, and was about to complain to my mom for the umpteenth time about how Toffee Sandies were my FAVORITE, how it's crimial that they stopped making them, yadda yadda yadda, when suddenly I saw them on the shelf. My heart started racing, my jaw dropped and I took a Little Rascals-esque double take. Oh Joy!!! I haven't tried them yet, so I am disappointed to hear that the toffee chunks are not as large as before, but as you said, "I'll take it!"

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