I wouldn’t call myself a hoarder. Sure, my dining room table looks like a bomb went off. That I call motherhood, not hoarding. I have time to sweep the floors and clean the toilet and hang out with my kid on weekends. That’s just about as much as the clock gives me.
As for my 7-year-old, well, let’s just say if you saw the Homeland Security threat warning wavering on Sunday, an empty bag of Goldfish crackers may have been the trigger.
I wanted to throw it out. She insisted we keep it because, hey, you never know when she might need it.
The same goes for that 2-inch strip of Hello Kitty duct tape. And the dried out marker. And don’t get me started on the pile of empty egg cartons. They might be good for a craft some day.
This was my Sunday afternoon: trying to negotiate the release of junk held hostage by a 7-year-old with a taste for crafting. We got one whole garbage bag out of there, but I didn’t have the heart to go on.
More From Inside Out: If Your Kid Is Too Crafty For Her Own Good, You’re Welcome
Her mother will never be Martha Stewart, but she’s working toward it, one cardboard carton at a time.
How could I deny the world the next Martha? She may find a way to turn that Goldfish bag into THE perfect doily, and then where will we all be?
Hello, my name is Jeanne Sager, and one day you’ll see my house on an episode of Hoarders. They’ll be able to skip right past the living room, the dining room, even the kitchen.
The playroom has everything a reality TV show producer focused on filth dreams of. Toy trucks missing their wheels. Stuffed animals missing their noses (what can I say? we have a puppy). And a desk loaded down with everything that could ever be crafted.
Make me feel better … this is normal, right. Right?
Are you raising the next Hoarders star?
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