When You Regret Giving Up Your Maiden Name

I’m not sure what I expected when I shared with readers of The Stir that I regret taking my husband’s last name. To find other people in my boat, perhaps?

I certainly wasn’t expecting people to feel as though I was insulting him. Twelve years into our marriage, he knows better.

Still, the idea was out there. So when a producer with Word of Mouth, a program on New Hampshire Public Radio, reached out to ask me if I’d talk about my name regret, I jumped at the chance to clear up the misconception.

I don’t regret the name change because of anything relating to my husband. It’s all my baggage, all about my relationship with my maiden name, a moniker that for nearly two decades of my life was intrinsically tied to my identity.

As I told Word of Mouth’s Taylor Quimby, it really comes down to what two people IN a marriage are feeling.

What are your feelings about name changes? 

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  1. I think people can pretty much do what they like with their last name. My last name is actually hyphenated. I chose to hyphenate because my Dad adopted me and I wanted to honor him, it's a part of who I am and didn't feel I needed to give that up when I got married. Changing your name is not honoring your husband, being a good spouse is how you do that.

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