There is always a secret thrill that goes through me when a blogger gets a book deal. It’s a bit of living vicariously through them, a bit of hope raised that one day I’ll find the time to put together my pitch and actually go for that deal I’ve always wanted. But when I got my hands on Carry On Warrior, the new book from Glennon Doyle Melton of Momastery, there was an added bit of happy.
Not familiar? Glennon is the mom behind the viral blog post about moms who just can’t Carpe Diem. A friend of a friend, I was already familiar with her blog, already interested in the words of a fellow recovering bulimic who is trying to be a mother and retain her identity, but it was that post that hooked me.
Finally, a mother who spoke my language.
Maybe you will be the girl who got all As and being inducted into Honor Society and getting into one of the nation’s top colleges, but you spent every night in the bathroom throwing up everything you’d eaten the day before.
And maybe you will have a child you wanted more than you ever imagined, and then you will find out that motherhood is really friggin hard, and all around you are people who are smiling and nodding like little bobbleheads. Motherhood is great. Bob. You must love it all. Bob. Don’t say no. Bob. Just embrace it! Bob. Bob. Bob.
I’ve always wanted to smash those bobbleheads.
Glennon is my type of girl. She did too. As she said in her now famous blog post:
This CARPE DIEM message makes me paranoid and panicky. Especially during this phase of my life – while I’m raising young kids. Being told, in a million different ways to CARPE DIEM makes me worry that if I’m not in a constant state of intense gratitude and ecstasy, I’m doing something wrong.
Only, she took the bobbleheads, and she chucked them out the back window while going 90 miles per hour, and she didn’t even look back:
There are two different types of time. Chronos time is what we live in. It’s regular time, it’s one minute at a time, it’s staring down the clock till bedtime time, it’s ten excruciating minutes in the Target line time, it’s four screaming minutes in time out time, it’s two hours till daddy gets home time. Chronos is the hard, slow passing time we parents often live in.
Then there’s Kairos time. Kairos is God’s time. It’s time outside of time. It’s metaphysical time. Kairos is those magical moments in which time stands still. I have a few of those moments each day, and I cherish them.
OK, so I’m not big on the God part of it all. I am a lapsed Catholic who has never been able to square the concept of a higher power with the hate of gays and ill treatment of women I experienced growing up. But the rest of it makes sense to me.
This is how to be a mother and be myself, in admitting that it’s OK not to think that shitty diapers smell like roses and whiny toddlers are adorable. It’s in finding that one spot in the day that doesn’t suck and really enjoying it.
This is the story of Carry On Warrior, of the book that is a voice shrieking to be heard above the droning hum of parenting books. There is no perfect in motherhood. If you’ve found it, surely you’ve lost you in the process.
What there is is that moment when you find yourself able to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and carry on down the path content that there is method to your madness.
Have you read Carry On Warrior yet? What was your favorite part?
Have you “liked” Inside Out Motherhood on Facebook yet?
Disclaimer: I received an advance reader copy of Carry On Warrior. Although I tend to shy away from book blogging, at least when it comes to adult books, this one spoke to me.