6 Things Only Parents Find in Their Fridge

lollipopThere are people who have organized refrigerators, fridges with glass shelves that sparkle when hit by light and beverages arranged in perfect lines, food wrapped up in neat little packages. Those people do not live in my house.

Nor, I’m willing to bet, do those people have children.

Not that my fridge would have made the pages of Country Living pre-child. Ive always preferred a lived-in house, and that includes a refrigerator stocked rather… shall we say haphazardly?

But there was a time when my fridge did not look like it was stocked by drunken elves. Really.

Scout’s honor.

OK, so I was never a Scout, so I don’t know how well that one holds up. But there was a time when you could walk into my kitchen, swing open the refrigerator door and NOT find the following evidence that a child had taken up residence in the house:

1. Half-eaten food. No, I’m not talking about the leftovers packed up in little plastic containers that folks all across America stow away every night after dinner. I dream of the day things can actually be “wrapped up” and put away. Because for three weeks now, I’ve faced a rainbow swirled lollipop, missing approximately three bites, splayed out on a plastic bowl. All requests to finish said lollipop or throw the darn thing out already have been denied. So there it remains… taunting me.

2. Beverages with less than one inch remaining. I’m not sure if there is anything more confounding than grabbing the milk jug and realizing that your child has left you with little more than a dribble. I understand their stomachs are small, but they make space for 10 pounds of candy on Halloween. Surely they can spare a little room for 6 more drops of the good stuff?

More From Inside Out: THIS Is Why You Ask Your Kids Questions

3. Beverages with absolutely NOTHING remaining. I lied. There is something eminently more confusing. Forget trees and sounds and all that jazz. If you are 8 years old, apparently the mystery you ponder is, “If I finish the milk and no one is around to see me recycle the jug, will I still get credit for recycling the jug?!”

4. Hair. Perhaps this is only a problem for parents of girl children or boys with shaggy mops, but wresting open the fridge to find one strand hanging from the middle shelf is a problem I never had pre-kid… and one I wouldn’t mind forgetting entirely.

5. Science “projects.” What do you get when you mix Cheerios, water, apple juice, and a dash of cayenne pepper in a bowl and put it in the fridge for a month? We’ll find out soon!

6. Dolls. It’s startling how un-startling it can be to have a five-minute conversation with another parent about “naked Barbie dolls.” But you haven’t experienced a true shock until you go to grab a snack and come face to face with the aforementioned lounging beside the cheese.

What is the most startling thing YOU have found inside your fridge?

 

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Comments

  1. Too funny! I found our tv remote in the fridge a few week ago!

  2. Amy Heffernan says:

    lmao what a great read…

  3. Oh, I’m so with you on this one. With three boys …and now a little girl in the house, plenty of funny things finds their way to our fridge….and right now it is filled to the brim, as I just got home from grocery shopping…an organized fridge? What’s that?

  4. I get 4 out of your 6 in my fridge on a regular basis. The weirdest things must be the afore-mentioned “science projects” after a few days… yuck!

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