10 Signs a Cat Owns You

angry-catAs humans, there’s plenty that divides us. Politics. Religion. Baseball teams. Whether you think the toilet paper should flow over the roll or under (over, always over, people!).

But there’s one thing that brings some 36 million of us together: we own cats. Or if you want to get really technical, we’re owned by cats. So next time you’re at your wits end with someone’s political tomfoolery or their inability to load a dishwasher correctly (the plates should face in, people!), consider this. If you own a cat and they own a cat, chances are you have the following in common:

  1. You’ve swept one room of the house and come up with enough hair to create a brand new cat. The last time you swept said room? Yesterday.
  2. You’ve wondered if your family pet is trying to kill you. Maybe you’re paranoid … or maybe you just woke up gasping for air, only to find 13 pounds of fur standing on your wind pipe.
  3. You wash clean dishes before using them because you never know where a cat hair might be hiding.
  4. Speaking of, you’ve probably ingested more cat hair over the years than you ever care to admit to.
  5. Your sleep schedule is based less on when you want to get up and more on shutting up that infernal racket in the morning.
  6. You freak out when guests leave the toilet seat up because you still have nightmares from that time you had to give an angry cat a bath after they’d taken an accidental dip in the potty pool.
  7. You know better than to try to read a newspaper in their presence.
  8. You’ve been bitten for petting them too long, and then five minutes later found yourself petting them again because they were rubbing their head on your hand and you just HAD TO.
  9. Your “clean” laundry stays that way for approximately 5.3 seconds.
  10. You feel constantly judged in your own home for doing such things as sitting on your own couch, eating your own dinner and, of course, breathing.

Have you “liked” Inside Out Motherhood on Facebook yet?

Speak Your Mind

*